How to Find the Right Therapist for Your Child or Teenager
Most parents come to therapy for their child after a long stretch of worrying on their own. By the time you start searching, you are often tired, a bit frightened, and faced with a list of names and letters after them that mean very little. I want to make that part easier.
Here is what I think actually matters when you are looking for a child therapist or a teenage counsellor.
Start with registration, not the website
Anyone in the UK can call themselves a psychotherapist or counsellor. The protection you have as a parent comes from registration with a professional body, not from a nice website.
Look for someone registered with the UKCP, BACP, BPC, or HCPC. Registration means the therapist has completed a recognised training, works to an ethical framework, holds insurance, is in regular clinical supervision, and can be held to account if something goes wrong. You can search each register online and check a name in about a minute. I would do that before anything else.
For work with children, also check that the training was specifically in child and adolescent work. Adult therapy training does not automatically prepare someone for work with children and young people. Child and adolescent counsellors and psychotherapist have undergone a specific training the enables us to work safely with children, adolescents and young people, as well as their parents and carers. We also:
have extensive understanding of child protection and rights
are required to undergo safeguarding training every 3 years
most of us have experience of working in education environments
It helps to think about it the way you would think about physical health. If your child had a physical problem that needed a consultant, would you want the doctor who covered a bit of paediatrics somewhere in their training, or the paediatrician who trained specifically to work with children and young people and has spent years doing exactly that? Most parents would not hesitate for a second. I would ask you to apply the same reasoning to your child's emotional life, and to feel just as entitled to ask the question.
Understand what kind of therapy is on offer
You will see a lot of different labels. A few of the common ones:
Play therapy and creative therapies. Younger children rarely talk about their difficulties directly. They show them through play, drawing, sand, and story. This is not a lesser form of therapy, it is the right language for that age.
Psychodynamic and psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Longer term work that pays attention to what is happening beneath the behaviour, including in the relationship between child and therapist.
CBT. Structured, focused, and well evidenced for specific difficulties such as anxiety and OCD. Often shorter term.
Integrative therapy. Drawing on several approaches and shaping the work around the particular child rather than the other way around. This is how I work.
The honest position is that the relationship between the therapist and your child predicts outcome more reliably than the model does. Do not agonise over choosing the perfect approach. Do ask a therapist to explain in plain English how they work and why they think it suits your child.
Ask about the parent's role
This is the question I would want a parent to ask me. Some therapists work with the child alone and meet parents occasionally. Some see parent work as a central part of the treatment. Some offer family sessions.
There is no single right answer, but you should know the answer before you start. You should also know what will and will not be shared with you. Confidentiality matters, particularly for teenagers, and a good therapist will be clear about its limits from the beginning, including what happens if there is a safeguarding concern.
Use the first conversation properly
Most therapists offer an initial call or consultation. Treat it as a two way conversation rather than an interview you have to pass. I always invite parents to ask me questions. Make a list before the first meeting. Some reasonable things to ask:
What is your training and who are you registered with?
How much experience do you have with difficulties like my child's?
How do you work with parents?
How long might this take, and how will we know if it is helping?
What are your fees, and do you offer a reduced rate or a waiting list?
Notice how you feel during that call. If you feel judged, rushed, or blinded by jargon, that will probably not improve later.
Trust your child's response, and give it time
Children often protest about going. That on its own does not mean the fit is wrong. What I would watch for over the first six to eight sessions is something subtler: does your child seem slightly more able to be themselves at home, even if things get noisier before they get quieter?
If after a couple of months nothing has shifted at all, say so. A therapist who is secure in their work will welcome that conversation rather than take it as criticism. Sometimes the honest outcome is a referral to someone better suited, and that is a good outcome, not a failure.
A note on cost and waiting
NHS CAMHS provision is free but access is limited and waiting lists in many areas are long. School counselling, charity services, and low cost training clinics are all worth asking about. Private therapy is quicker to access and more expensive, and many private therapists hold a small number of reduced fee places. It is always worth asking.
I am a UKCP registered integrative child and adolescent psychotherapist working with children, teenagers, and families. If you would like to talk about whether therapy might help your child, you are welcome to get in touch.
